I Should Have:
“I should have taken that promotion at being the café manager.” “I should have ordered a chicken salad instead of that burger.” “I should have told her that she looks fabulous instead of scolding her for interrupting my call of duty session.” “I wish I had said what I wanted to say before it was too late”
We call it regret.
We can all relate to that scenario: Thinking of doing, saying or acting differently and achieving an different outcome.
It’s a normal human process to wonder what could happen in an alternate scenario if we would act differently. It can put a hopeless smile on your face as you space out for a second before returning to reality, and it can be an everlasting sorrow that eats at you daily.
Our duty to mankind is to grow and progress and we cannot progress if we keep hold of our regret without making the conscious choice to do something about it.
Here are a few ways to turn regret into growth:
Write it down: writing down a regret I hold upon myself and then proceed to writing a new challenge that I would swore to do. Another great way may seem hard for others would be to
Share it: share your regret with friends. Often the best ideas come from others and getting someone else’s perspective can help you evaluate your own.
Turn it on its head:
One of the best ways to tackle regret is to turn that into action: Missed a chance to take that audition because you were anxious? Plan to take the next 5 no matter what the outcome. In this way you make the mere act of tackling the challenge that you passed up a victory by itself (even if you don’t get the part).
Stand on your own head:
Sometimes the reason we missed the opportunity or made the wrong choice was because of our thinking. Whether it was because we got lost in our own heads or pressured by the needs of others, or any number of thought processes that led to our ultimate choice we need to evaluate this. Taking the time to re-think things can help us make better choices the next time around.
It is critical that at all times, no matter the response to regret, we are always consciously thinking and moving forward. Everything you do should be with the future in mind, and if you are being pulled down by regret always ask “How is this helping me or others?” and “How can I make something positive out of this”.
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